"5:12 is definietly afternoon!"

"no its all ok don't even worry about it." Are you mocking the only thing I know how to say to you?

You don't know I had an anxiety attack in third today, and you don't know I avoided you after school in fear of another.You don't even know that I started having anxiety attacks. But I wish you did.

You didn't tell me the gigantic news you've been accepted (with scholarship) out of state and you didn't care to tell me you were moving. You didn't even tell me goodbye. But I wish you did.

We haven't spoken face to face for five days, and we haven't smiled together for longer. And that may not seem like a big deal to you, But I wish we had.

But you're not a Genie, and I'm not Aladdin. And laughter is a stupid thing to wish for when you can have anything in the world. Right?



I'm beginning to fall into a rut where I just don't care anymore. I'd like to blame senioritis,but I know your absence is fraying my last motivations.

I've got a rambling brain and a painfully mute mouth.
 I've got chapters of our story to fill in but it's a collaboration and you're keeping your pages secret.
and I've got a headache because calculus is all about understanding the concept, but you're only giving me a conclusion and you refuse to expand. Mr. Smith keeps drilling it's important but how can it be important if I'm never going to use it in life?
I've got a lost puzzle piece of a soul and someone took the picture I'm trying to fit into away.
I've got bruises and incisions on the inside of my attitude.

and I've got coffee on my breath because bad habits seem to push you off my mind best.

"no its all ok don't even worry about it."

Human Tendencies

His eyes are animated as he leans in to whisper. He brushes her loose curls softly behind the ear. Her eyes find the ground, embarrassed, and she shivers, like she always does. I don't have to hear what he says to know, I've heard all the headlines. He'd like to take her to the dock, or to the balcony or out on the rowboat. "Works every time," He'd said in the locker room "Anyone is free to borrow my stock in genius, as long as they aren't chasing the same piece of tail." God he makes me  

sick. 

She nods up and down, then shivers again because she's nervous. Being nervous has caused shivers since the 8th grade.

I look around, music blaring, everywhere is filled with teenagers acting like fools for each others attention. No one seems to notice the two treading away.

I know that I have to stop her. I also know I wasn't supposed to be invited, much less tell the host he can't touch my lab partner. 

Come on Peter, be a knight in shining armor. Don't girls go crazy for that stuff? 
Great, he's giving her his jacket. I know girls go crazy for that stuff.

Time is taking it's final breaths as I stutter on the sidelines.

She has to know that all the stories are true. That all the games are reruns with the same rules and he  always wins. The dock is just another level, another dice roll, another slick move.

Before I can carve the cement from my feet the pawn and the king have closed out of my sight. 

I could have saved her from the heartache I would later watch fracture her soul. I could have stopped the writing. She didn't have to own such heavy pain. But I let her. And I blame my selfish human tendencies.